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The Safrik and Grenik Pandemic

A Report By: ZBC News

The Safrik and Grenik Viruses

The Safrik and Grenik viruses have gripped the country once again. If news reports are to be trusted these viruses have spread to every corner of the country infecting everyone it comes in contact with. The R0 for these viruses seems to be between 8.2 and 10.5 which makes them extremely transmissible. Every day of the pandemic feels like it could be the worst day, but it keeps getting worse.

Some experts in virology claim that the virus not only spreads with contact but also can spread via other means like telephone cables, Cable TV and Internet making it very hard to track and control. Patient 0 for these viruses was never identified as the spread is so rapid and the viruses predate modern science. 

These viruses were given their respective names many decades ago when the pandemic then was at its peak. The names are based on how the infected navigate towards particular colors, saffron in the case of Safrik and green in the case of the Grenik virus. It has been observed that hosts infected with a particular virus wear clothes of the same color and paint buildings, monuments to resemble their color.


According to leading Religo-Virologists the symptoms are wide ranging from hosts being really mellow and empathetic to some hosts being really aggressive, violent and obnoxious. Scientists have claimed that depending on the viral load the hosts' thinking ability could be affected in certain areas. Most hosts experience higher rates of anger and lower rates of empathy. 

The main symptom consistently observed is that the virus seems to affect the hosts’ vision as they start seeing everything in a colored tint. Safriks see everything colored in Saffron and Greniks see everything colored in green. It is believed that the virus creates a colored filter (chashma in local language) through which the hosts see the whole world once they are infected. Some controversial studies have been published claiming that the virus also adds a filter to their thoughts, as they seem to exhibit symptoms where anything they read, hear or see is processed through this filter. Even a cute cat video gets processed through these filters causing them to see something that does not exist and outrage about it. 

Scientists have also observed that the “UVT (Us Vs Them)” disease is aggravated in the hosts as they become less tolerant to others infected with other forms of the virus. The UVT disease is primarily known to desensitize the hosts to the suffering experienced by others. It has also been observed that the hosts seem to have extreme sympathy towards their own and seem to exaggerate the suffering of their own even in mild cases. When it comes to the question of who is the instigator both Greniks and Safriks point fingers at each other as they feed off of each other's anger and resentment keeping the UVT cycle going without an end in sight. 

One more common symptom observed is that the hosts once infected depending on the viral load start claiming that their group belongs to a superior class/race/intellect. They seem to believe that they have the best books, history and gods. This is especially surprising given their actions do not come close to their claims of superiority and if you inquire about the reasons for their belief they cannot list any that make sense to the non-infected.

Scientists have observed that the aggressive and violent behaviour seems to be high among the viruses that have infected a larger number of hosts. Being the majority in a country seems to make the hosts more aggressive and insensitive to others beliefs. At the same time if the same virus infects a minority of the population a sense of suffering and a sense of victimhood takes over the hosts. The majority infected always seem to blame the minority for spoiling their culture and infecting them with their own form of the virus. The minority infected are usually seen to play the victim card whenever possible. 

Both Safrik and Grenik viruses have their own variants. Many Safriks and Greniks affected by certain variants have mild symptoms and do not exhibit aggressive behaviour like the others. They live peaceful lives and seem to show some empathy towards others. They also help the needy with donations and other philanthropic work. It is unclear what percentage of the hosts experience these symptoms but the aggressive and the loudmouths seem to grab all the attention. 

The Safrik variant “HT” and Grenik variant “IS” have been identified as the root cause for much of the violence and chaos seen in the region. It has been observed that the hosts infected with these variants exhibit exponentially more aggressive and violent behaviour when they get mixed up with politics. Almost always the peaks are around the election season. Some claim this combination of virus and politics has been the deadliest in the history of mankind.

There have been cases where childhood friends infected with the opposite virus stop being friends and can't stand each other anymore. This behaviour seems to be caused by some loudmouths on TV/Internet spreading the virus using their platform. Once the hosts have their filters ON they refuse to see suffering and injustice. They start to justify any act committed by their side, no matter how evil or violent it may be. 

The mildly infected Safriks are sometimes called traitors or sellouts and labeled as Greniks by the hosts who have greater viral loads. In Grenik majority countries the opposite is true. The majority damage is always taken by the mildly infected as they are higher in numbers. 


Both the Safrik and Grenik viruses are classified under the Religorik virus. Since the origin of the Religorik virus predates modern science, it is hard to pin down an accurate time frame for its origins. The religorik virus has several variants around the world which have been given their own names as the rate of infection and symptoms vary from region to region. Each variant manifests in different forms but usually ends up showing similar symptoms as that of the major variants.

Historians claim that the safrik variant of the Religorik virus had a parent variant that did spread among humans a long time ago but did not seem to have the adverse symptoms that are currently seen among the hosts. The Safrik virus is mainly concentrated in one specific part of the world which has a huge population density. Though there are recorded instances of the virus spreading to other countries the effects have been negligible given the fact that those countries have other viruses that have taken over the majority of the population. 

On the other hand, the comparatively recent origins of the Grenik virus are well known and are better documented than the Safrik variants. Historians claim that the Grenik virus spread rapidly in all directions as soon as it came into existence. The virus spread to several countries ending up being the most dominant variant. The Grenik virus also is attributed to infecting the majority where the prior dominant variant was Safrik. 

Scientists claim the primary cause of these viruses spreading is from Parent to child. At birth the child seems to be immune to any of these viruses but gradually the virus takes over as the child grows older. In most cases the children almost always are infected by the same variant as their parents. The peak symptoms for humans is estimated to start around the age 30. 

Though Safrik and Grenik viruses have existed for a long time, the more deadly and dangerous variants HT and IS have recent origins. While HT variant originated in the same country as the Sarik virus, the IS variant has origins across multiple countries. The IS variant is attributed with killing and displacing a lot of humans across the world. The HT variant on the other hand has been a cause for multiple riots in the country going as far back as the early 1900s. Historians claim the HT and IS variants have been the primary cause in the partition of the country a few decades ago. The hosts infected with either HT or IS variant show more dangerous symptoms compared to the milder symptoms experienced by most of the infected. 

Master of Puppets

Every population infected by a certain virus seems to have leaders who are addressed as VMs and who scientists jokingly call Virus Masters. They seem to accelerate the process of infection and also further the spread of the UVT disease. Usually the VMs belonging to the group that is in majority cause the maximum damage. The VMs seem to have unreal hold on the people infected making them follow the instruction without questions. The VMs make sure that the infection rate always has a steady growth. Anytime the infection rate seems to fall or flatten the VMs come up with new innovative ways to increase the spread. 

As the hosts infected by the virus lose control of their anger pretty easily, many VMs have led their groups into violent riots and revolutions worldwide causing a lot of damage to the livelihoods of the citizens. This almost always leads to higher infection rates.

Though the viruses have been in the country for a long time, it has been observed that the infection rate and cases have been steadily rising to dangerous levels in the last few years. The steady growth is attributed to the more dangerous HT variant. Coincidentally the same years saw the rise of a very popular, camera loving Safrik VM. Experts believe the growth in popularity of this VM is directly proportional to the rising cases and spread of the HT variant. He seems to be very successful in spreading the HT variant among the more passive Safriks, making the future look very grim for the country. His reign also coincided with the crashing of the country’s economy and social standards. 

A Global Pandemic

While the Safrik virus is mainly concentrated in one country, the Grenik virus has taken over many countries and in some cases has created extremely dangerous variants in some regions. A few variants that have been causing havoc have been named TL, AQ and IS. Hosts infected by these variants have been reported to blow themselves up in order to cause maximum damage to other groups. In most cases they kill fellow Greniks with milder symptoms. New reports say that the TL variant spread rapidly in a region affecting almost everyone in the country. All scientists agree that this is the variant of extreme concern right now. 

The religorik virus is widespread and exists in almost every corner of the world. Each variant of this virus has its own color and symptoms but overall the after effects seem to be the same. Most variants have milder effects while certain regions (Ex grenik virus) have the more extreme form of the virus causing widespread violence and refugee crisis. It has been found that some of the more passive viruses in today's times have been known to have caused a lot of damage and suffering hundreds of years ago. 


Since the whole globe is affected by these viruses, scientists believe remedies like lockdowns will not have any effect going forward. The need for a vaccine is urgent and many labs across the world have been trying to invent a vaccine to end the pandemic. Without the vaccines the future looks grim. 

Based on historical records some claim that wars and events that involve extreme violence seem to cleanse some people of their extreme symptoms as an after effect. If this hypothesis is true many fear it would be disastrous for the world. Glad we have science to save us. 

Recent research has indicated that these viruses affect parts of the brain that manage levels of fundamentalism in mammals. Scientists believe this might be what is causing the heightened UVT disease, violent behaviour and utter lack of sympathy. Many labs across the world are working on a vaccine that reduces the levels of fundamentalism in the infected. The belief is that the reduction of fundamentalism will diminish other symptoms making the virus less spreadable and keeping it restricted to the host. 

A statement released by a leading virologist:

Fundamentalism is the main predicament. Any virus that affects the part of the brain that alters the levels of fundamentalism can cause violent reactions. Lowering the levels of fundamentalism also brings down the filters through which the infected see and think, making them more sympathetic to others' perspective, slowing down the UVT cycle. It does not matter if the virus is Safrik, Grenik, Religorik, Atheinik or any other variant, If the levels of fundamentalism are in check the pandemic will come to an end. To make our futures look bright we need to find a vaccine that manages the levels of fundamentalism”. 


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